Single And Daring To Mingle …

27 Apr

The art of flirting is more difficult for some than trying to paint an original Van Gough. From cheesy one liners to the most inappropriate and vulgar ‘conversations’ I’m sure we’ve all got our favourites.

And I don’t know what it is but some seem to pack their worst lines and conversation openers in with the sun tan lotion and speedos!

I recently read somewhere that apparently Church is one of the best places to flirt! And the doctor, yes doctor who suggested this said and I quote, ‘Church is an excellent place for flirting, absolutely the best place. You’re there to celebrate life and the praising of the Lord, so what better place to open yourself to someone else. I recommend it to all my clients. I tell them ‘Go to church if you want to find a good woman.'”

Some of you laughing reading this are laughing I know, but all I kept thinking was, so what would said good woman have to look at? The Altar boy perhaps??

So, your in Ibiza, on the beach, bikini/speedos all in their places, you look up just at the right moment to see your dream ‘partner’ we shall say. What do you do?

What I’d quickly suggest here is that you stop staring like some weirdo and compose oneself. Yes eye contact is good and a great way to let them know you like what you see, but for some of us girls, and I would say boys aswell a lot more work is needed.

Lets remember we are not in your normal environment, your looking tanned and your not likely to bump into these people again if rejection occurs so lets get a bit confidence about us! All the dating websites I looked at were against the recycling of those cheesy one liners as a method to approach, but I say go for it! It provides hours of after party entertainment as long as we both know your joking right?.. Here are some classics

  • Are you a parking ticket because you got fine written all over you?
  • I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I’ll make your Bedrock!
  • Is your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be a McGorgeous!
Now, there is a fine line between cheesy and juts down right rude, take a look at this clip your don’t want to be wasting your night walking around like these two ..
Yes we like a bit of creativity every now and again and the balance between boring and down right rude is finer than a  HB pencil. So girls even if he strutts over to you and comes out with ‘wow that bikini is absolutely beautiful, where is it from?’ just roll your eyes similarly if he walked over and says ‘wow your tits are great’ we don’t appreciate this either.
For those of you who are not single and are scared to flirt because of the danger of the other half finding out, even though they will never know I suggest living in the shade, not shaving and boys to style yourself like this gentleman here should keep the chicks away ..
Lets have a laugh please feel free to not name but shame the flirting memories that you have held dear to your heart …
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Who Let The Dogs Out ? …

18 Apr

‘Lets talk about sex baby’ NO!  Lets talk about Zoo Project 2011. For those of you who wouldn’t think to travel up to an old abandoned zoo in the hills on a late afternoon on a wednesday or saturday in Ibiza, open your minds!

This ingenious idea thought about by three friends over a cosy cup of tea, or so I picture it, in 2007 gives people a free pass to release the techno raving animal burning inside.

This underground clubbing hot spot has been kept from becoming ‘too commercial’ by avoiding the papps with no TV or magazine interviews that would spoil the animal illusion. The three wise elves who I spoke of earlier who run this little town are a good global mix of DJ’s with Ady (UK) Lubka (Slovakia) and Defex (Germany).

From splashing around like wild seals in the outside pools to behaving like wild horses bopping about the open lands this feast of new, cutting edge house and techno DJ’s will serve you well.

this girl may have took the jungle feature too farThe best part about Zoo Project, and where your friends who like to sew and those that are relatively artistic come in, are the outfits. Face paints, feathers, ripped animal prints and maybe the odd bit of leather its all coming back in fashion tonight.

Take time to think outside the box, anyone can draw a few zebra lines down their face or wrap a small amount of leopard print material around their delicates (wild whores) but the most outrageous costumes are certainly the ones that get the cool cats talking.

I was once lucky enought to make friends with a semi naked actual blue smurf on one of my nights here but I think even I could be more creative than this. Remember how many animals Noah brought on board his Ark? There wasn’t just tigers and zebras and peacocks, lets revamp our less colourful animal friends and help them to shine 🙂

This Is The Anthem For The Rebel Of My Youth …

11 Apr

And now we enter the world of MUSIC.  The sole reason why I think Ibiza is more than just a one hit wonder and means more than a holiday is the music. A holiday in Ibiza is like an all time classic film, we have:

  • an outlined story of arrive .. consume alcohol .. get burnt .. deal with sand .. party hard .. multiply by  14 days .. go home
  • the main characters and the extras who you meet along your raving way
  • we have the authentic setting of living and breathing beaches, clubs and hotel antics
  • the vital equipment to record such a film .. or just a digital camera
  • finally all we need for the hook, line and sinker is …. the soundtrack !

There are many albums that have put themselves out there as ‘Ibiza Essentials’ surprisingly with names like ‘The Best Ibiza Album Ever!’ , other titles are available. However, I have the strong and right opinion that everyone needs there own soundtracks as songs are a way that we remember, through the drunken haze, where we were that night and what we did.

For example, every time I hear this … Wynter Gordon, Dirty Talk – Laidback Luke remix I maintain a healthy stance of arms in the air, eyes closed and result! I’m back to the night of Thursday 22nd July 2010, Cream @ Amnesia.

And the night we met him, Laidback Luke, the only male in the photo ..

 

Now I would like to share with you all my own ‘Soundtrack to Ibiza 09-11’ or what my friends would have me call it ‘What’s that song called again?’

As you youtube and investigate into each song do play them over my montage of photos and just imagine what your soundtrack will sound like, the approving smile and nod of the head it gives you to think and say ‘good times…good times’ …

 

1. Paul Oakenfold – Southern Sun

2. Fragma – Toca’s Miracle (house remix)

3. Southside Spinners – Love Struck . . . ‘ex myspace profile song’

4. Paffendorf – Be cool . . . ‘rave safely’

5. Lange – Follow me . . . ‘could me cry’

6. Tensnake – Coma Cat (treasure fingers remix) . . . ‘soundtrack ’10’

7. Tim Berg – Bromance

8. Bob Marley – any song the man made will suffice . . . ‘useful for balcony times’

9. Layo & Bushwacka – Love Story (tim deluxe mix)

10. Round Table Nights – Calypso . . .’to feature in Ibiza ’11’

11. David Guetta – When Love Takes Over . . . ‘yeaaa yeaaa’

12. Tv Rock ft Rudy – In the Air (Axwell Mix) . . . ‘prepare to smile’

13. Paul Van Dyk – For an Angel . . . ‘we cant just leave him out’

14. David Morales – Needing You

15. Sound Design – Happiness . . . ‘only from about 2 minutes in’

16. David Torte & Norman Doray – Chase the Sun

17. Avicii – My Feelings For You . . . ‘every time’

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Please feel free to share your own soundtracks …

 

 

 

Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook … And Still Not Cooking …

6 Apr

As I sit here in my kitchen, looking at the array of cookery books; Jamie Oliver to the old school Ainsley Harriot, controversially listening to some Steve Angello to put my mind set in Ibiza, I know why they have yet to make it big on the white isle.

This is all about Ibiza diet time. But I’m not talking no carbs, put down that pie diet. This is a way to physically survive the blood, sweat and tears of your holiday.

this is more like it

My first time in Ibiza was a momentous occasion as for the first time in my life I was left unattended by a stove and surprisingly this resulted in the production of some rather edible hotdogs! However, I soon realised that this quite frantic and pressured event was not the way to survive in San An.

For the times you have to eat in your room, and lets just hope Jamie Oliver doesn’t kick off a new campaign aimed at me, I go for the ever reliable crisp sandwich. There is nothing better than the thought in my head right now which is balcony, sunglasses, bread and crisps. And that is all I have to say on that Michelin star meal.

In Ibiza there are a lot of similar looking restaurants and diners in and around the bay which all serve your usual safety net of: cheese toasties (make sure to stress the process of melting the cheese), beans on toast, chicken baguette, tuna baguette to name a few. There is no where in particular from my current trips that I would stress to avoid, but if anyone reading has had a particularly bad encounter then please do share…

Nandos anyone? .. No I am not toying with your peri peri emotions here but the place we all must dine at this year is the Ibiza Rocks Cafe. The most realistic looking Nandos chicken pitta breads are served here along with a wide selection of burgers, salads and the option on a slice of newyork cheesecake if that’s how you live it up out here!

Lastly, what has become a last night ritual for me and my friends in Ibiza is visiting Savannah’s which is one of the many sunset bars at Cafe del Mar where the beautiful people all congregate on the rocks to watch the sunset. A lot more expensive that a chicken baguette, I’m talking about steaks and pasta dishes just to set your taste buds off reading this. It has to be done as there is literally nothing better than sweet Ibiza music, sweet Ibiza food and sweet Ibiza views to finish off your sweet Ibiza holiday.

Feel free to give out any comments and restaurant recommendations 🙂

The DJ’s Got Us Falling In Love Again …

1 Apr

The sun can do a lot of funny things to people, things that rain, clouds and fog cannot achieve here in the UK. The sun has this amazing ability to trick us, and I mean trick us, into this concept of a holiday romance. I may sound bitter and synical, and there may be some of you reading this who have met the ‘love of their lives’ whilst on holiday, but I very much doubt that there is a crowd of people following you and cheering this cause.

In a way, I cant blame many people for indulging in these feelings whilst frolicking around San Antonio’s famous bay. It’s hardlys the same idea as wandering aimlessley around Sunderland town centre where you rarely get the tall, tanned, six pack god strutting his stuff past you on the beach so this vast contrast from some G Star jeans and smart striped jumper may just con you into thinking you will not find better. Yes girls I am directing this post to you as I feel that everything I have read over the last few weeks to do with holiday romances is just not giving you a real, honest view of why this behaviour is frowned upon.

I urge you all to follow heavily these next points. And remember the sign below

REMEMBER the tan will fade. Yes it might sound 100% shallow and cosmetic aspects may not be important to you, but we all know how much better we feel and look with a tan … meeting up with Barry* if that is even his real name post holiday may not be the best idea.

DO NOT exisit in a total alcohol blackout whilst on holiday. Yes the ale’s are flowing but beer + sun = ultimate beer goggles and we all know the next day photographs are the ultimate proof *allow time to cringe*

SNAP HAPPY .. following the above *time to cringe* comment I would urge the photo’s of you wrapped around a holiday lust, posing inappropriately, to be kept to a minimum. Come mid autumn following Ibiza, death by embarrassment is soon to follow.

STAY IN CONTROL …  remember the joys of facebook? On the rare occasion you find he is actually single when you do your quick check girls, there is now no need to share any more personal information than your name. Let it be with the odd chat when you get back home, the crack will soon die out and no one needs to get hurt. Stay in control of yourself…do not become obsessed!

Ibiza is about the music, the DJ’s, the sun, the clubs getting away with your friends. If your going to fall in love, fall in love with a DJ or a new drink you have yet to discover or house music as I did last year. I’m sure David Guetta is still available girls, grab him while you can.

In this unreal world of social media, apps, apps and more apps, you would have thought by now you could just scan a man’s face and be given a likelihood of snog, marry avoid dont you think? !

Hi Ho .. Hi Ho … Its Off To Work We Go

25 Mar

There will be a lot of you out there who still have not booked up for Ibiza 2011 yet and shame on you! However, it may be the case that there are too many thoughts buzzing around your minds that this is the time in your life when a mere crazy week here or there is not enough to satisfy your Ibiza craving. Working abroad can always be a tricky decision especialy when you know nothing about the do’s dont’s and definitely not’s whilst living and working abroad.

If you type into google words such as ‘working abroad’, ‘jobs abroad’, etc etc you will generate a lot of similar sites that wil give you a basic level of information about working aborad. But, for the nitty gritty facts about what to do when you get there and how reliable such information is, is hard to come by. For those specifically going to Ibiza this year I am your heroine! I have been able to interview a number of different people some boys some girls some more entertaining than the rest, and have designed for you a ‘Bear Grylls’ Top Ten workers survival guide… Pens at the ready.

  1. Medical insuarance is an absolute must with the additional information of if you do ever need medical attention always go to a State Hospital as it is easier to claim back your insuarance.
  2. A recommended place to stay are the Vedra Appartments. Reasonably priced, expecting to pay around €300 – €400 per person but that is all bills included.
  3. When it comes to choosing your line of work, I have been advised that those wanting to go into ticket sales must be able to handle the heat as walking about in the sun all day is not as easy as it sounds. But easier than bar work? That I’m afraid is up to you …
  4. What ever job you take up, expect to earn around €10 an hour. With ticket sales, you should expect  €10 euros commission on each ticket.
  5. Getting a spanish mobile is best for employers to ring you as some will not waste their money calling english numbers. Movistar shop is reommended.
  6. On arrival in Ibiza, a pub called ‘The Ship Inn’ located at the top of the West End posts a great selection of job and accommadation vacancies.
  7. Euroski’s has been knighted the cheapest shop for all your food necessities.
  8. Worth your while to buy a workers wristband, €2 from Viva. This gets you workers priced drinks, cheap entries to clubs after your hard days labour and more importantly a hassle free trip through the West End, meaning no hassle from other reps with there enticing speeches to get you in their bars.
  9. Boxes of wine 70cent !!! from your local Spar
  10. Workers meals in buger king at a bargain of €2.45 ….. Happy Days.

Facebook On Location

14 Mar

Straying off the sunkissed track for this post, a requirement from my social media module is to blog about social networking. We recently watched the critically acclaimed film the Social Network. As most of you reading will be aware that this film is about the events surrounding the creation of what we have all come to love, facebook.

I am not however going to give my own personal film review as there is little point, although I did enjoy the movie and would highly recommend it 🙂

Love it or hate it, facebook has become a basic need in our everyday lives. We no longer wander around town, university, college and wonder who people are. By the first glance we have already linked them to a profile picture, last update and their relationship status.

Check out this video I recently found just to put some perspective on the global scale of facebook…

Holidays used to be a time when you would arrive home and think wow! 2 weeks with no computer, no mobile phone and not knowing what had went on over the two weekends you had missed in town. My last holiday in Ibiza, halfway through, people back home had already seen the effects that a sun, sea and vodka cocktail had on me, with photos already being uploaded to facebook through mobile phones and the use of the hotels computers. Use of the ‘detagging’ button used heavily here.

The most practical uses of facebook while enjoying your holiday that I know and believe to be true are: girls, rather than raking up a huge phone bill checking up on your boyfriends just have a quick look/stalk every now and again to leave your minds at rest. Singletons, rather than wasting your time talking to a nice young gentleman, or lady around the pool and then discovering he/she has a significant other, get their names, quick facebook search will save you the disappointment.

However, there are some drawbacks. The sheer addiction of facebook means that I feel I can never really escape home even whilst sunning myself in Ibiza. I suggest leaving your phone in the hotel is a must, people’s lives are not that exciting really. Don’t upload your photographs daily, leave some excitment of reliving your holiday for when you return home, believe me you will need it. The last thing is that you can still never get away from uploading the odd drunken status, its not big and its not clever.

Now, put your hand on your heart and answer me this …